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Posted by on Mar 23, 2014 in Inspirational | 10 comments

Turning fear into possibilities!

Turning fear into possibilities!

The only obstacle between you and your dreams are your fears.

I’ve been getting some really cool and nice messages and emails from readers lately. They’re really positive and usually brighten my day, but one thing is common in all of them… They all want to know how they can live their dreams, despite all the obstacles they face.
So this post is for all of you who have sent me amazing emails and all the ones who would like to turn fear into possibilities.

 

OVERCOME OBSTACLES

We live at a time and age of fake images. Everyone, from bloggers, celebrities to tv commercials, unfortunately, try to pass an image of perfection and constant happiness. Nobody is always happy and on a  high.

One thing you don’t know about it, and most of the people who know me in person are not familiar with the fact that I come from a broken home. A totally dysfunctional family.

I grew up in the middle of a lot of extreme domestic violence. I didn’t even know I was a product of an abusive home, as violence was all I knew. I thought it was normal.

During my childhood I experienced no affection from my parents. My parents never told me they loved me or felt proud of me. It was actually the other way around, they always put me down, made me feel inferior, inadequate and stupid.

They’d give me dolls as a way to show affection, but I would have exchanged them all for a loving hug or a kind word. The damages of this upbringing haunted me basically all my life.

Maybe that’s why, when I turned 18 and I could legally move out, I didn’t even look back. I had nothing to lose and no ties to my home.

 

BREAKING THE FEARS

I wanted to travel and I had no money. I wanted to see the world, but I was never made believe I could. I didn’t have a cheerful family or group of friends wishing me the best and supporting me along the way.

I actually had a very unhealthy group of friends as problematic as I was, who had to deal with their own issues.

Everything I did and all the steps I took to break from my limitations were done in absolute loneliness and my own risk. If things failed, I would have to return home feeling humiliated. So I gathered a lot of strength and went through despite my fears. I had to believe in myself, no one else would.

 

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

Fighting for happiness is encoded in our DNA. The outburst of depressions, anxiety and panic attack problems our western society faces has a logical reason to be. People are not living up to their potentials.

It doesn’t matter if your dream is to become a millionaire or a bartender. A dream is a dream and whatever makes your heart beat is what you should be pursuing.

I didn’t want to be a millionaire or join the corporate world, which is a typical desire in our society and leads so many people into unhappy unfulfilled lives, following their parents dreams and expectations.

It happened that I always wanted to discover the world. It didn’t have to be in a fancy way. I took baby steps, and the fact is that I slept on the beach or at a park a few times because I couldn’t afford a hostel. But I was so stubborn and persistent… I knew I would either fight for what I wanted or resign to a life that was not meant for me.

If I managed to go for it, you can too. I’m not more special, gifted or talented than you are. I actually started out with a bigger disadvantage than most of you. I had no one to back me up or support me emotionally on my journey.
When we want to get to a destination, we have to stop getting distracted with the fears and insecurities other people implant into our heads. Turn fear into possibilities!

 

 

 

HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR OF FAILURE

(ATYCHIPHOBIA)
There’s no such thing as failure. You might come short of what you initially expected, but that doesn’t mean you failed, but that you’re practicing to perform better next time.

Think of a baby. How many times does a baby have to fall down, before he starts walking?? Does the baby get depressed because he fell 1000x and can’t seem to find his balance? Does the baby quit trying to walk just because he fell down once?
If that would have happened, we’d all be crawling!

A baby will probably laugh and keep on trying till the day he stands up. And we know that eventually, he does stand up!
Success has more to do with standing up graciously after falling than never falling at all. There’s nothing to be scared of, you’ll get there eventually.

 

GOOD ROLE MODELS

This has always be an issue to me. I never had role models till the day I left home and started meeting people who were actually interesting.

If you feel stuck in your comfort space, feeling you don’t have anyone to draw inspiration from, I have bad news for you…. You will never find them. When you start doing the things you love, you’ll meet people who are also following their dreams. That’s the law of attraction.
The more you surround yourself with people you admire, the easier life gets. To start with, draw inspiration from people who do cool things, even if you don’t know them in person! And don’t seat on your ass admiring your role models, but actually try to be as inspiring as they are.

 

That’s when you’re life will really change!

10 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. I identify with your story so much… I’ve been a long term traveler for 4 years now. Wish you peace and joy on your journey sista! 😉

  2. Well, you just became a role model to me :) loved the article!

  3. This is extremely touching and very inspiring, Yara! I am so glad you were able to flourish and overcome the difficulties with your family, and you’re right: I did not have such a disadvantage, and I am grateful for that, but I am incredibly inspired by your story. Wonderful!

    • Thank you Sam. Unfortunately life isn’t always a picnic for everyone, the key is to turn bad luck around :)

  4. Thank you for this! I’m going to a yoga class today. First time ever. I’ve been too scared before, thinking I couldn’t do it. But I’ll never get better at it if I never try, so today I will give it a try and I will give it a try a 100 more times.

  5. A very inspirational post. Congrats on breaking away and following your dreams!

  6. I have to put the dreams of my 11 year old and 14 year old first right now and their dreams require stability so they can finish school and go to college (one wants to be a doctor and then go around the world doing Dr. Without Borders and such – the other wants to be a Veternarian and work on a huge ranch). Luckily I had kids young so in 7 years, when the youngest graduates I’ll only be 41. That seems soooo far away though!!!! I want to show them the world and see the world NOW, but its hard with a boring 9-5 job and bills that have to be paid! They have already seen FAR more than I had at that age though, the only place I’d been outside of MN was SD and WI! :-)

  7. the first half of your post about family and friends is like a copy paste of my life, i understand u so much and i am happy u managed to overcome them,
    the difference is that i now have a 2,5 year old and i just dont know where to start my journey, i know i love to travel, to sing, but i also love good living
    and he has a father…he needs him too…
    i am stucked…

  8. You advice is great – don’t seat on your ass admiring your role models, but actually try to be as inspiring as they are. We all need to learn from that!

  9. Dear Yara,
    My name is Delaney and I’m a sixteen year old living in the US. I’ve had a life long dream of traveling the world (as I’m sure almost everyone who contacts you does) and a few years ago I started exploring the thought of traveling right out of high school. Ever since then I’ve spent my nights researching tips and tricks on how I can afford and survive travel on my own. From doing so, I stumbled upon your blog which has not only helped educate me but has really kicked this dream of mine into full gear. After reading that you started your travels at 18 years old, I immediately felt compelled to contact you. Of all the things that have come up from trying to make my dream a reality just one thing that’s holding me back: my age. Ive read countless blogs, including yours, which encourage solo female travel, but I have yet to find one that speaks to such a young age of travelers. If my goal is to start my travels say a year after high school while Im 19 years old, is it smart for me to just go off on my own? Am I being over ambitious? Will I even have enough common adult knowledge to work my way around booking accommodations and flights, or managing money, credit cards and expenses? Ive been told from countless people that there are programs and groups I could join as a student that would allow me to travel but it doesn’t seem like the right thing for me. The majority are too expensive and even the more affordable ones seem pointless because I know I could stretch my money to experience so much more than they offer. I would enjoy having a person to share my memories with but with everyone going off to college, it seems as if I’ll have no choice but to go on my own. I should also mention that at the moment I have very little interest in going to college, therefore studying abroad would not be ideal. Although it seems like a great experience, I believe that I could learn so much more from being exposed to different cultures and experiences than I could from thousands of dollars worth of textbooks. Overall I believe life is too short to not pursue my dreams and living an average life (going to college, getting a normal job) is too expensive for what I feel I would get out of it. I would really like to make this dream a reality and thought contacting an expert like you to get some advice would help me get over this hurdle. It would be much appreciated.

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