Turning fear into possibilities!
The only obstacle between you and your dreams are your fears.
I’ve been getting some really cool and nice messages and emails from readers lately. They’re really positive and usually brighten my day, but one thing is common in all of them… They all want to know how they can live their dreams, despite all the obstacles they face.
So this post is for all of you who have sent me amazing emails and all the ones who would like to turn fear into possibilities.
We live at a time and age of fake images. Everyone, from bloggers, celebrities to tv commercials, unfortunately, try to pass an image of perfection and constant happiness. Nobody is always happy and on a high.
One thing you don’t know about it, and most of the people who know me in person are not familiar with the fact that I come from a broken home. A totally dysfunctional family.
I grew up in the middle of a lot of extreme domestic violence. I didn’t even know I was a product of an abusive home, as violence was all I knew. I thought it was normal.
During my childhood I experienced no affection from my parents. My parents never told me they loved me or felt proud of me. It was actually the other way around, they always put me down, made me feel inferior, inadequate and stupid.
They’d give me dolls as a way to show affection, but I would have exchanged them all for a loving hug or a kind word. The damages of this upbringing haunted me basically all my life.
Maybe that’s why, when I turned 18 and I could legally move out, I didn’t even look back. I had nothing to lose and no ties to my home.
BREAKING THE FEARS
I wanted to travel and I had no money. I wanted to see the world, but I was never made believe I could. I didn’t have a cheerful family or group of friends wishing me the best and supporting me along the way.
I actually had a very unhealthy group of friends as problematic as I was, who had to deal with their own issues.
Everything I did and all the steps I took to break from my limitations were done in absolute loneliness and my own risk. If things failed, I would have to return home feeling humiliated. So I gathered a lot of strength and went through despite my fears. I had to believe in myself, no one else would.
FIGHT OR FLIGHT
Fighting for happiness is encoded in our DNA. The outburst of depressions, anxiety and panic attack problems our western society faces has a logical reason to be. People are not living up to their potentials.
It doesn’t matter if your dream is to become a millionaire or a bartender. A dream is a dream and whatever makes your heart beat is what you should be pursuing.
I didn’t want to be a millionaire or join the corporate world, which is a typical desire in our society and leads so many people into unhappy unfulfilled lives, following their parents dreams and expectations.
It happened that I always wanted to discover the world. It didn’t have to be in a fancy way. I took baby steps, and the fact is that I slept on the beach or at a park a few times because I couldn’t afford a hostel. But I was so stubborn and persistent… I knew I would either fight for what I wanted or resign to a life that was not meant for me.
If I managed to go for it, you can too. I’m not more special, gifted or talented than you are. I actually started out with a bigger disadvantage than most of you. I had no one to back me up or support me emotionally on my journey.
When we want to get to a destination, we have to stop getting distracted with the fears and insecurities other people implant into our heads. Turn fear into possibilities!
HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR OF FAILURE
There’s no such thing as failure. You might come short of what you initially expected, but that doesn’t mean you failed, but that you’re practicing to perform better next time.
Think of a baby. How many times does a baby have to fall down, before he starts walking?? Does the baby get depressed because he fell 1000x and can’t seem to find his balance? Does the baby quit trying to walk just because he fell down once?
If that would have happened, we’d all be crawling!
A baby will probably laugh and keep on trying till the day he stands up. And we know that eventually, he does stand up!
Success has more to do with standing up graciously after falling than never falling at all. There’s nothing to be scared of, you’ll get there eventually.
GOOD ROLE MODELS
This has always be an issue to me. I never had role models till the day I left home and started meeting people who were actually interesting.
If you feel stuck in your comfort space, feeling you don’t have anyone to draw inspiration from, I have bad news for you…. You will never find them. When you start doing the things you love, you’ll meet people who are also following their dreams. That’s the law of attraction.
The more you surround yourself with people you admire, the easier life gets. To start with, draw inspiration from people who do cool things, even if you don’t know them in person! And don’t seat on your ass admiring your role models, but actually try to be as inspiring as they are.
That’s when you’re life will really change!